Ok one thing that is not easier is learning how to use new technology. I am indebted to Treana Hickey, my WordPress guru, for any success I have here! Check out her fun fun blog, House of Bennetts. Another thing that has not gotten easier is making myself read directions, to anything. Hahaha but Treana says that’s a waste of time so I’m going with her flow.
I was driving into town this morning and I had my cruise control set on exactly 65 and it occurred to me that I was peaceful, mellow and enjoying my drive. Of course I had an excellent cup of coffee in hand, was listening to my friend Antonio Lopez’ new CD (check out his fb page, he is awesome!) and was not late for once, but still. And from there I started thinking about how some things have really gotten better as I have gotten older. When I was young and heard people say that, I used to think it was a Tom Sawyerish it’s-so-much-fun-to-paint-this-long-boring-fence-in-the-hot-sun kind of thing, but actually it isn’t.
Ok, right. It’s not all bad news. Here is a short list of things that have gotten better for me as I have gotten older. And I hope that you wonderful readers will chime in with your own observations in your comments.
1.) I am more often to be found observing posted speed limits. Note that is a very indefinite statement. My kids will be amazed by this (“PICK A LANE, BONEHEAD!!!”) but it actually is true. You know, “Life isn’t a destination, its a journey.” I actually have a journal that says that. True story.
2.) I spend more time listening to hear, and less time listening to reply. I am much more interested in what others think, feel, and are going through than I used to be. And much less interested in those very things about myself. I don’t actually think I am the smartest person in the world anymore. Or that everything I say is profound. Of course I AM writing a blog so you may reserve judgment.
3.) I see life as much more mysterious than I used to. I don’t feel compelled to be able to explain everything in reductionist terms. This whole thing is SO mysterious: us, God, the vast variety of forms of matter we see around us, matter vs. time vs. energy-all that physics stuff-just scratching the surface of Mystery. And why would I think I could explain God to anyone? The older I get, the more I want to just shut up and take a seat. And applaud.
4.) I treasure my friends more and more. The ones I have had for a long time seem infinitely valuable to me. They have known me, forgiven me again and again, supported me, and just been there when things were happening. I even go to high school reunions. And I was definitely not cool in high school. I LOVE you people. You know who you are.
5.) I ask more audaciously for what I want. I have been blessed over and over again beyond what I could ask or imagine. So I have gotten cheekier about imagining. Hey if you don’t ask…but I think I am better at handling it when the answer is no. I know it doesn’t mean I am not loved.
6.) Yes! I am loved by God. I know that now, and I didn’t for most of my life, which has been a complicated and exhausting performance. I actually feel downright giddy about it at times. It feels naughty to not try so hard all the time. But damn, it beats the alternative.
7.) On that note, I am getting better at believing that sitting still is a valid activity. Even watching BBC detective series, of which there are apparently hundreds, is a valid activity. Even a valid life goal. I’m working on it. Stay tuned for my seventies.
8.) I love participating in the focused aimlessness of children. Of course that would be one child in particular at the moment, Avery Elizabeth Kitchen. I stand ready to be enthralled by many more of her ilk. It was so hard when I was the mom to just relax into the unhurried rhythms of my children. There was always so much to be done. But being Nina is so awesome. I can just follow her around, perfectly content to repeat each activity an average of 22 times.
9.) I no longer care if it qualifies me as a major geek that I can’t wait to do the NYT crossword puzzle every day. I tell myself I am preserving my cognitive capacities although I know full well that the only thing doing crosswords makes you better at is doing crosswords. I realize this is but a variation of the theme that sitting around is a valid activity…
And 10.) There has to be a number ten, doesn’t there? It keeps the planets in alignment. Well, here it is. I laugh more now than I ever have. I mean really, how long do you have to be alive before you realize how funny most things are? Not a joke, not ridiculous or worthy of ridicule, just plain funny. God has a colossal sense of humor. I mean look at us…